


When You Say You Love Me

by SpoonyLupin



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Coming Untouched, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gay Richie Tozier, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Richie Tozier Has a Big Dick, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Riding, Service Top Richie Tozier, Smut, Top Richie Tozier, Virgin Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:21:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24179614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoonyLupin/pseuds/SpoonyLupin
Summary: Richie and Eddie lie awake in their beds at the Derry Townhouse after defeating It for the final time.  They are both consumed with thoughts of the other, but will they be brave enough to admit it and give into their feelings for each other?
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 12
Kudos: 228





	When You Say You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephen King, Chase Palmer, Cary Fukunaga and Gary Dauberman, and various publishers including, but not limited to, Viking Press, New Line Cinema, RatPac-Dune Entertainment, KatzSmith Productions, Lin Pictures, Double Dream, Rideback, Vertigo Entertainment, Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
> 
> Author’s Note: I have a Reddie novel-length story and while there will be smut there eventually, I wanted to let our boys have some fun now. I couldn’t get the image of Eddie riding Richie out of my head, so here we are. There may be more in this timeline if I get the inspiration (and please let me know if this is anything you would like to see), but I hope you enjoy! And I hope you’re all taking care yourself during these crazy times. Stay safe!
> 
> All of my Reddie stories are named after Josh Groban songs, so I decided to keep the tradition going. This title is taken from the song of the same name.

_You're the one I've always thought of._  
_I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love,_  
_You're where I belong._  
_When you say you love me,_  
_The world goes still, so still inside._  
_And when you say you love me,_  
_In that moment, I know why I'm alive._  
_When you say you love me,_  
_Do you know how I love you?_  


_~When You Say You Love Me_ by Josh Groban

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie couldn’t sleep. He lay awake in his bed at the Derry Townhouse, staring at the darkened ceiling as the moon outside the window threw shadows of tree branches across his bedspread. They reminded Eddie of the claws of Pennywise’s spider form, reaching out to Eddie from the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind. Because that was where it resided now. Gone from this world forever. Finally. It couldn’t hurt him anymore.

Shivering, Eddie turned over so that the windows were to his back. He closed his eyes, trying desperately not to think about the fact that It’s fucking claw had missed him by mere inches. It was only Richie’s quick reflexes that had managed to grab him and roll him out of the way in time. If not for Richie, Eddie very well might have lost his life down there in the depths of It’s lair.

Richie had reached up, grabbing Eddie’s arms so fiercely, Eddie was momentarily certain that Richie was going to kiss him. Kiss him for killing the fucking clown once and for all and being as brave as Richie always knew he was.

But Eddie’s triumph had been short-lived, because Richie screamed, “Fucking MOVE!”

Richie used his legs to push himself and Eddie out of the way, flipping Eddie over and pushing him onto his back. The rocky floor of the cavern pressed painfully into Eddie’s back, and his mouth opened in a silent scream. He had almost been about to swear at Richie, but then that had been forgotten entirely.

It was probably the most ridiculous thought Eddie had ever had in his life, but when he opened his eyes and saw Richie hovering over him, Eddie wanted to lean up and kiss him. Richie was so very close to him, his hands still clenched tightly around Eddie’s biceps. Richie’s eyes were wide and his breathing was hard, his mouth opened around his gasps for air. And Eddie had never wanted to kiss those lips so much in his entire life.

A moment later, however, Eddie realized that It wasn’t dead, because one giant claw slammed into the ground next to him, right where Eddie had been laying seconds before. Eddie gasped in a giant and shocked breath, and then Richie was struggling to pull him up off of the ground once and for all. Eddie’s inappropriate thoughts were driven from his mind as Richie grabbed his hand and pulled him down into a smaller cave.

Eddie had saved Richie from the Deadlights and in turn, Richie had saved him from what Eddie was sure was certain death. Eddie vaguely wondered if Richie had seen certain things in the Deadlights, just like Beverly had. If Richie was acting on the fact that he had seen the future, or if he had simply seen It’s claw coming. Eddie hadn’t asked him, and he wasn’t sure if he should.

But in reality, there was another burning question in Eddie’s mind that was keeping him awake, and he was pretty sure he shouldn’t even _think_ about it, much less ask it. When it came right down to it, however, he kept coming back to Richie’s encouraging words:

_You’re braver than you think._

Except it wasn’t true, was it? Maybe Eddie had been brave to throw that spear at Pennywise in order to free Richie from the Deadlights, sure, but there was nothing brave about hiding his true feelings for the one person he loved most in the world.

_Richie._

And now Eddie felt like he was quickly running out of time. They had done what they had been in Derry for – to kill that fucking clown once and for all – and now they would soon be returning to their normal, boring lives. Eddie would be going home to his smothering life with Myra and maybe even forget about Richie all over again.

That was the thought that finally forced Eddie to throw his covers aside and sit up. He wasn’t about to let Richie just slip out of his life again without knowing how he felt. If Richie hated him for it, then so be it, because they might just forget about each other again forever, no harm done. That was what Eddie told himself anyway.

Just then, however, Eddie saw the moonlight glint off of the wedding band on his left hand. It only took Eddie a split second to decide to remove it, because it certainly wouldn’t do to confess his feelings to another man while wearing his wedding ring with another woman. Eddie pulled it off and set it down on his bedside table, glancing at the clock there.

It was after one o’clock in the morning, but Richie was a night owl, wasn’t he? At least he always had been when they had been children. Hopefully, Richie would still be awake, watching TV or reading. Even though none of them had slept in forty-eight fucking hours and they were all mentally and physically exhausted, maybe Richie was still awake. Perhaps waiting for him.

But Eddie didn’t have time to worry about those things right now, because he was going to prove to himself and to Richie that he was brave once and for all.

~~~~~~~~~~

Richie couldn’t sleep. It was stupid, because if there was ever a time he should be able to sleep, it was now. They were all sleep-deprived and exhausted, and that fucking clown was finally dead once and for all, so he thought sleep would have come to him so very easily that night.

But here he was, lying in bed and flipping mindlessly through the channels on the television. He barely even registered what he saw on the screen before he went on to the next one, so it had become a completely automatic action by now, because his mind was somewhere else entirely.

Was Eddie sleeping peacefully in the next room? If so, what was Eddie dreaming about? Or maybe Eddie was tossing and turning too, unable to find sleep after the chaos they had just been through. If Eddie was lying there awake, what might he be thinking about? Was Richie on his mind at all, or was that simply wishful thinking on Richie’s part? Was it just Richie being stupid and thinking he had a bigger impact on people than he really did?

“Fuck,” Richie muttered, turning off the television and throwing the remote to the foot of the bed. He reached up to pull off his glasses, then spent an inordinate amount of time rubbing his hands over his eyes. This was so stupid, and he was stupid, because Eddie wasn’t thinking about him. There was no fucking way in hell. He wasn’t thinking about Richie the way Richie was thinking about him.

Richie’s mind kept going to that very precarious moment when he had come out of the Deadlights, thoughts running through his mind of Eddie getting stabbed and his blood splattering all over the place. All over the front of Eddie’s shirt and all over Richie’s face. He’d only had a moment to realize what was happening, to react to what he knew was coming, and he’d been consumed with the stupidest thought ever.

As Eddie was hovering over him, telling him that he’d gotten Pennywise, Richie had been overwhelmed with the urge to lean up and kiss him. It was the most inappropriate thing Richie had probably ever wanted to do in his life, thinking about kissing Eddie when he only had mere seconds to react to what he had seen in the Deadlights.

Richie had managed to roll Eddie out of the way just in time, and as he was still hovering over Eddie, he still wanted to kiss the man. They were fighting that fucking space clown, and Richie had narrowly saved Eddie from being stabbed, and he was thinking about kissing Eddie of all things. What the hell was the matter with him?

Maybe it was the life or death situation they had been thrown into. Didn’t people in desperate times sometimes do crazy things? But now, laying in his bed at one o’clock in the morning, Richie still wanted to kiss Eddie and it was fucking ridiculous.

Eddie was lying in his bed in the next room, either sound asleep or wide awake, but regardless, he wasn’t thinking about Richie. No way, no how, and Richie was being stupid for even hoping for such a thing.

Just then, however, a sharp knock came at Richie’s door.

“Rich?” Eddie asked quietly, like he was afraid of waking him. “Are…are you still awake?”

Richie nearly jumped up out of the bed, replacing his glasses on his face as he went. “Yeah,” he said, leaping for the door like Eddie might disappear if he didn’t get there fast enough. Like Richie would realize this was all a dream if he didn’t open that door in the next two seconds.

“Fuck yeah, I’m awake,” Richie said as he wrenched open the door. “Who can sleep?”

“Not me,” Eddie said, stepping into the room as Richie closed the door behind him.

Eddie stood there in the middle of his room, facing away from Richie. Eddie brought his hands up to his biceps, squeezing them tightly like he was cold.

Eddie was wearing a pair of grey and blue plaid pajama pants, socks, and a grey t-shirt. The moonlight streamed in through the windows, kissing the pale skin of Eddie’s arms. It was the first time Richie had seen Eddie without long sleeves on, and it had never occurred to Richie before that Eddie was _toned_. His biceps were buff and muscular, which was something that he seemed to keep hidden underneath jackets and sweatshirts. Richie had an insane urge to reach out and run his fingers up Eddie’s arms, but he managed to control himself. What in the hell was wrong with him?

Eddie was his _best friend_ , and they didn’t have these sorts of feelings for each other. At least, they shouldn’t. Richie was just messed up, but he had already known that.

“Are we really going to do this?” Eddie asked, still not facing Richie.

“Do what?” Richie didn’t think he had ever been more confused in his life; he couldn’t even fathom why Eddie had come to his room in the middle of the night, and Eddie’s question didn’t even begin to give him a clue.

“Go back to our lives and forget about each other again,” Eddie said, finally turning around to face Richie. If Richie wasn’t mistaken, he thought he could see the faintest hint of tears in Eddie’s eyes, but a moment later, he thought maybe it had only been a trick of the moonlight.

“ _No_ ,” Richie said. He swallowed, taking a step forward, but still staying out of arm’s reach of Eddie. “I could never forget you.” Richie grimaced, not sure whether that had been the correct thing to say or not.

“That’s what we said the first time we left,” Eddie muttered, hanging his head and staring down at the carpet miserably. “Remember? We promised we’d write and call, but…we never did.”

“Mike seems to think we may not forget this time,” Richie told him, “you know, since the fucking clown is dead now. Besides, it’ll be easier now,” Richie insisted. “We can text each other, and…Bev wants to start a group chat like all the cool kids do these days. We’ll make sure we keep in touch.”

“Rich,” Eddie said, and there was that shimmer in his eyes again. “I don’t want…” His voice cracked and he took a moment to swallow before he went on, “I don’t want to go back to my life without you.”

Richie found himself smiling, because Jesus, was Eddie really this distraught over possibly losing contact with Richie? Did Richie really mean that much to him?

“I _promise_ we won’t lose touch,” Richie said, taking a step closer. He was now close enough to reach out and touch Eddie, but he didn’t. “We’ll text or call everyday if you want.”

“No, I don’t,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “I don’t want to text and call you.”

“Eds…” Richie frowned deeply, because he had no idea what it was Eddie wanted.

“And don’t call me Eds.”

“Okay,” Richie said, even though he had absolutely no intention to stop using Eddie’s nickname. “Tell me what it is you _do_ want. Whatever it is…we’ll do it.”

Eddie was staring up at him, his eyes large and wide. “Anything?”

“Yeah,” Richie said. “Don’t you know by now? I’d do anything for you.” Richie bit at his lower lip while he mentally kicked himself, because why in the hell did he always say things without thinking them through first?

Eddie hung his head again before turning away once more. He let out a soft breath. “You remember what you told me down in the sewers? That I’m braver than I think.” Eddie was staring down at his hands, and Richie could tell from his movements that he was wringing them together.

“And you _are_ ,” Richie replied. “Jesus Christ. After all the brave shit I already reminded you of, you then went on to free me from the Deadlights, almost getting stabbed in the process. How can you still be questioning whether you’re brave or not?”

“Because,” Eddie muttered, rubbing his hands over his face. “I came to talk to you about something tonight. I was so certain I was just going to come right out and do it, but now that I’m here, I’m chickening out again.”

“Chickening out about what?” Richie asked, taking a step closer to him still. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right? You’re my best friend. We tell each other everything. Or at least, we used to.”

Even as he spoke the words, Richie was all too aware of the fact that they weren’t entirely true. He’d been doing nothing but hiding certain parts of himself from everyone, least of all Eddie. How could he expect Eddie to be so open with him when he couldn’t do the same?

“But that’s just it,” Eddie said. “I’m afraid you won’t want to be my best friend anymore if I tell you my secret.”

“What secret?” Richie asked, and his voice cracked on the second word. He swallowed and immediately went to his go-to joke when shit started to get too overwhelming. “Did you fuck your mom too? I mean, that is kind of gross, but not that I blame you. She is a good lay.”

Eddie suddenly whirled around to face him. “Dude, can you _not_? I’m trying very hard to tell you something important here, and you have to go and be an asshole.” Even in the darkened room, Richie could see Eddie’s eyes dancing, his mouth pulled down into a frown. “Why are you _like_ this?”

Richie bit at his lower lip, immediately regretting his words. He sighed heavily and asked, “Because I _am_ an asshole?” Richie held his hands up in a show of surrender. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you can’t be serious with me, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“Richie?” Eddie asked, still frowning, but his voice was softer now. “If I tell you something…can you promise you won’t hate me?”

“I can’t imagine ever hating you,” Richie said earnestly. God, if Eddie only knew just how much Richie _loved_ him, and if twenty-seven goddamn years didn’t do anything to stifle that, then he doubted anything ever could.

“And we’ll still be friends?”

“Always.” Richie reached out, finally closing the distance between them and laying his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “We’ve been best friends for thirty-five _years_. How could you think anything could change that now?”

“Because,” Eddie said, but then he closed his mouth. “Aw, fuck,” he muttered, turning around and pulling out of Richie’s grasp. He shifted back and forth on his feet for a moment, staring up at the ceiling, and putting his hands on his hips. “Just because.”

“Because why?”

Eddie ran his hands through his hair, then turned around to face Richie again. It was like Eddie didn’t know what to do with himself. Why was he so _antsy_?

“Why?” Richie asked one more time, as gently as he could. He kept his eyes pinned on Eddie’s, trying to make him feel just how serious Richie was about Eddie being able to tell him anything.

Eddie opened his mouth again, sucked in a loud gasp, then shut it again. He closed his eyes next before he said, “Because I love you, Richie.”

Richie felt like the floor had dropped out from underneath him. His heart had leaped up to lodge itself in his throat, and his blood was rushing in his ears. Richie blinked his eyes at Eddie, because he was so certain he had heard wrong. He opened his mouth to try and ask for verification, but no sound came out. He probably looked like a fucking fish on dry land, wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open like a weirdo.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie muttered, then stepped around Richie all at once. “It was stupid. I never…I’m sorry.”

He reached out for the doorknob, but a moment later, Richie had fought his way out of his stupor. Richie turned around and grabbed Eddie’s free hand, gently pulling him away from the door before he could get it open.

“Say it again,” Richie requested, because goddamn it, he had to be sure he had heard right. That he wasn’t fucking imagining things.

“No,” Eddie said, refusing to meet Richie’s eyes. “No, it was stupid.”

“It wasn’t stupid,” Richie said. He shook his head in disbelief and decided to just bite the bullet. “It wasn’t stupid, because…I love you.”

Eddie’s eyes met Richie’s again, large, and round, and unblinking. “W-what?”

Richie suddenly decided that actions spoke louder than words, so he leaned forward, capturing Eddie’s lips in a kiss. And it felt like the floor dropped out from underneath Richie again for the second time in the span of thirty seconds. His head was spinning and he felt like he was going to be sick all at the same time. Because he was _kissing Eddie fucking Kaspbrak_. Jesus Christ, what the hell was happening?

Eddie let out a little moan of shock, but a moment later, he returned the kiss. He turned his hand in Richie’s grasp, entwining their fingers together. Eddie then parted his lips slightly, flicking his tongue out against Richie’s quickly, questioningly. Richie returned the favor, pressing his tongue ever so softly in between Eddie’s lips before pulling away.

Eddie was staring up at him, his eyes wider than Richie had ever seen them. “What the hell.” Eddie’s words didn’t come out as a question, but as a statement.

“I don’t know,” Richie said around a laugh. “Tell me you’ve wanted this for as long as I have.”

Licking at his bottom lip, Eddie said, “Um. At least since I was thirteen. And that fucking clown came out of the projector in Bill’s garage. The way you grabbed me and tried to shield me from Pennywise. That was when I knew anyway. I never wanted anyone else to hold me like that.” He said all of this in a rush, then diverted his gaze away, as if realizing he had said too much.

“At least,” Richie said, laughing again, because this was absolutely crazy. Never in a million fucking years did he imagine that he and Eddie would be having this conversation, much less kissing each other. “It might have even been before that for me. I don’t quite remember. But yeah. You…you want me to hold you like that again?”

“ _Jesus_ ,” Eddie said, closing his eyes. “Like you wouldn’t believe. But…can we forego the psycho clown part?”

“Clown foregone,” Richie replied, reaching up a hand to cup Eddie’s cheek. He leaned in, kissing Eddie again, fiercely this time, like he needed Eddie in order to breathe. And maybe he did. His other hand snaked around Eddie’s waist, pulling Eddie against him.

Eddie moaned, but this time, it was out of pure pleasure. And holy shit. Richie couldn’t believe that he was the one drawing that sound out of Eddie. The thought went straight to his cock and Richie thrust his hips forward slightly. He could feel Eddie’s own erection growing in his pajama pants, but still Richie drew back, not sure if he was moving too fast.

Eddie only reached up, wrapping his hands around the back of Richie’s neck and pulling him closer. “Don’t stop,” Eddie muttered against his lips.

Richie didn’t need to be told twice. He dove back in and tilted his head to the side, enclosing Eddie’s lips in his. Richie stepped forward and a moment later, Eddie’s back was pressed up against the closed door of his room. Eddie tilted his head back against the door, opening his eyes and looking up at Richie from under his lashes. His pink, kiss-swollen lips hung open as he panted for breath, and it made Richie want to do all sorts of unspeakable things to him.

“Richie, can I…?” Eddie began to ask, but then he dropped his hands, letting them trail down Richie’s shirt. He found the hem and began pushing it up, staring at Richie questioningly.

“God, fuck, yeah,” Richie murmured, gasping in a breath as Eddie’s warm fingers began roaming over his stomach. Richie dipped his head and started trailing kissing along Eddie’s neck, down towards his shoulder.

Eddie shivered when Richie teased kisses at the neckline of his t-shirt, then he brought his hands upwards. He reached up under Richie’s shirt, pressing his palms to Richie’s chest, and Richie didn’t think he had ever felt anything better in his entire life. He loved the feel of Eddie’s hands there, and he never wanted him to let go.

Leaning up on his tiptoes, Eddie pressed kisses along the underside of Richie’s jaw, slowing making his way back down towards his mouth. All of a sudden, however, Eddie pushed him away slightly. At first, Richie was terrified that he had done something wrong, but Eddie only reached for Richie’s t-shirt again. Eddie started pushing the bottom of the shirt up towards Richie’s shoulders, then Richie got the hint and held his arms over his head. Eddie reached around then, pulling Richie’s shirt off over and his head and letting it drop to the floor.

Eddie took a moment to let his eyes roam over Richie’s bare chest, and Richie felt horribly self-conscious. He swallowed hard, feeling his cheeks growing warm with embarrassment.

“Why didn’t you tell me you got so hot?” Eddie asked, grinning and then licking at his lips hungrily.

“It’s not something I go around boasting about,” Richie said as Eddie started kissing him again. “’Hey, Losers, guess how hot I got. Wanna see?’”

Eddie snorted against his lips and said, “I would have done this our first night back if I had known.”

“Am I really all that?” Richie asked doubtfully, taking his turn to start letting his fingers reach up underneath Eddie’s shirt. “I’m kind of out of shape.”

“Fuck _yeah_ , you’re _so_ hot,” Eddie replied, taking a moment to press kisses down Richie’s neck towards his chest. He let his fingers roam along Richie’s stomach and up through his chest. “So big, and strong, and…you’re really turning me on.”

“Can I see too?” Richie asked, looping his fingers underneath the hem of Eddie’s shirt and starting to lift it up slowly.

Richie could see Eddie swallowing hard, but then he nodded, lifting his arms over his head. Richie pulled his shirt off, letting it join his on the floor.

“Jesus Christ,” Richie said.

The moonlight streaming in through the window highlighted Eddie’s small but muscular form, from his toned biceps, to his chiseled pecs, and then to his _fucking six-pack_. Richie had no idea that _all_ of Eddie was so buff, and it was suddenly making Richie feel even more self-conscious than he already had been. Eddie bit at his lower lip in trepidation, clearly not sure what Richie meant by his words.

“You know,” Richie said, reaching for Eddie again, “I dreamed about this moment a lot, and I never imagined you’d be so fucking _ripped_. Warn a guy, would you?”

“Mm,” Eddie hummed, letting Richie press their chests together. “You thought I _wouldn’t_ be all into being healthy and working out? Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Richie chuckled, pressing his lips against Eddie’s again. “My mistake,” he said, letting go of Eddie’s waist. He ran his hands up Eddie’s chest, staring in awe at the perfectly shaped muscles and flawless skin.

Eddie hooked his two index fingers in the front beltloops of Richie’s jeans and gripped his hands into fists arounds them, slowly pushing Richie backwards. Richie only had a moment to process what Eddie was doing before the backs of his knees collided with the edge of the mattress. Letting out a quiet yelp, Richie sat down heavily on the bed, Eddie quickly crawling on top of him. Eddie straddled Richie’s thighs and sat down over his lap, pressing their growing erections together.

“Oh, shit,” Richie gasped out, but he momentarily forced his mind out of his arousal for a moment. “Are…are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asked, pulling away from Eddie’s onslaught of kisses.

“I’m sure,” Eddie said, pulling back to look down at Richie. “If you are.”

Richie couldn’t keep himself from grinning. “I’m a forty-year-old sexually repressed gay guy. I’m ready.”

“Me too. So ready,” Eddie said, seeking out Richie’s lips once more.

Richie let his hands travel up to Eddie’s hips, gripping them tightly and pressing Eddie down against his erection. Eddie groaned somewhere deep in his throat, and that sound alone was almost enough to make Richie cum in his pants.

But there was something he had to ask.

“What about Myra?”

“What about her?” Eddie asked, breaking the kiss.

“She…she’s your _wife_ ,” Richie pointed out. “I can’t…I can’t do this if you’re going to go back to her tomorrow like this never happened. Like I’m just…a fling.”

“Richie…” Eddie began, but then he broke off. He looked down at their chest pressed closely together, then he held up his left hand for Richie to see his bare ring finger. “You have to know I’m not happy with her. We haven’t been for a long time. And I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t be doing this if I was the least bit in love with her. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and it wouldn’t be fair to her. And nothing about you is a fling. Flings don’t last for twenty-seven years.”

“So…what?” Richie asked, reaching out to take Eddie’s left hand in his. “You’re leaving her? To be with me?”

“I’ve been thinking about leaving her for a long time now,” Eddie admitted. “I just…never quite had a reason to. I stayed with her, because…it was the easiest way to keep things…uncomplicated. But…I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t pretend I haven’t been in love with you for the last twenty-seven years. Not now that I know you feel the same way. Staying with her now wouldn’t be fair to her, because…there’s nothing there anymore. Not even the least bit of hope that things will get better, because it’s you I want. Not her. Just you. It always has been.”

“Eds,” Richie murmured, leaning forward to press his lips against Eddie’s once again. “For me too. It’s always been you.”

Eddie pressed his hands against Richie’s shoulders, pushing him down gently into the mattress. Eddie went with him, pressing their chests together again (it seemed like Eddie liked that a lot), and kissing Richie deeply.

“How,” Richie mumbled in between kisses, “um, exactly how far do you want to go tonight? Because I’m down for the whole nine yards.”

Eddie’s eyes were glinting in the moonlight as he grinned down at Richie. “Does that mean fucking me so hard, I won’t be able to sit down tomorrow?”

“ _Jesus_ ,” Richie gasped, staring up at Eddie in awe. “My prim and proper little Eds _thinks_ about those things?”

“When it comes to you, yeah,” Eddie said, trailing his tongue up Richie’s neck, before pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “I’ve wanted nothing but this for most of my life, so I’ve spent a lot of fucking time imagining all sorts of naughty things I’ve wanted you to do to me.”

Richie’s breath caught in his throat, because he never even _imagined_ that he’d be here right now. That he’d have Eddie on top of him, telling him about all of the naughty things he wanted Richie to do.

“Mm,” Richie mumbled, kissing Eddie over and over again. “What sorts of things?”

“Riding you,” Eddie whispered into Richie’s mouth, “while you grab my hips and slam me up and down on your cock.”

“Oh my god,” Richie groaned. “Are you serious?”

“Fuck yeah, I am.”

Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s back, pulling him down tightly and thrusting his hips up. This earned a loud moan from Eddie. If Eddie was already being this loud, and they hadn’t really done anything yet, Richie could only imagine what would happen when he was actually fucking into Eddie. The entire inn just might be awoken by the sound, and for once, Richie didn’t really care.

Eddie pushed himself up and sat against Richie’s crotch, reaching for the waistband of Richie’s pajama pants.

“Do…you have protection?” Eddie asked then, his mind momentarily coming back down to earth.

“I have lube for my own enjoyment,” Richie said, “but I’m not exactly in the habit of carrying around condoms. I’m not even in the habit of fucking! I’m still in the closet, remember? I can’t exactly have sex with anyone without potentially the whole world finding out.”

Eddie blinked at him long and hard. “Are…is this the first…?”

Richie nodded slowly in response.

“Shit, Richie,” Eddie muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. “I can’t…I can’t ask you to…” Eddie shook his head, starting to crawl off of Richie’s lap.

“Eds,” Richie said, reaching out for Eddie’s hands. He gripped them tightly in his until Eddie faced him again. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be a great lay, because I have no fucking clue what I’m doing, but I’ve never wanted it with anyone else.”

“Richie,” Eddie gasped out, reaching up a hand to cup Richie’s cheek. “Are you _sure_ this is what you want?”

Richie nodded. “Positive.”

Eddie swallowed hard, but then he laughed softly. “And I’m not exactly in the habit of fucking Myra, so I think we’re good to go.”

“Wait, what?” Richie asked, blinking up at Eddie in confusion. “Tell me you’ve fucking consummated your marriage.”

“Once,” Eddie said, “but please don’t remind me of that ever again. And I’ve since gotten tested, because I’m a fucking hypochondriacal, paranoid freak.”

“You’re not a freak.”

“Point is, I’m clean, so I want to if you do.” Eddie suddenly bit at his lower lip, diverting his gaze away. “I just might not be any better than you, because believe me, the one night I spent with Myra was a fucking disaster. It’s why she wouldn’t ever let me touch her again, because I had no clue what I was doing either.”

Richie rolled his eyes. “Isn’t that part of the fun of marriage? Having lots of sex until you figure shit out? Or at least, that’s kind of what I’ve always thought. She’s fucking crazy if she didn’t want to have sex with you anymore. Or maybe it’s different when…you know, you’re really in love with a person.”

Eddie glanced back at Richie, smiling faintly. “You really want to?”

“I do,” Richie said, “if you do.”

Eddie took a deep breath and nodded. “I do. And why am I suddenly so fucking nervous?”

“No expectations, okay?” Richie asked, rubbing his hands across Eddie’s hips soothingly. “We can just…see what works, and if you decide you don’t want to, it’s okay. We have plenty of time to figure this out.”

Eddie’s smile deepened slightly and he leaned forward to press another kiss to Richie’s lips. “Where’s your lube?” he asked when he pulled away.

“In my bag,” Richie said, pointing across the room, “by the dresser.”

Eddie’s smile had grown into a grin as he climbed off Richie and scrambled across the room. He quickly dug through Richie’s bag while Richie shed himself of his pajama pants, boxer shorts, and socks. He pushed himself up on the bed and sat back against the headboard, waiting for Eddie to join him. When Eddie turned back to him, he nearly tripped over his own two feet as he made his way back over to the bed. Richie was already fully erect, and Eddie’s eyes went immediately down to it.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Eddie said, slowly setting the lube on the mattress next to Richie’s thigh. “Speaking of warning people about things, you could have told me you’re fucking _hung_ like a _horse_.”

Richie snorted. “Sorry, my bad. ‘Hey, Eds, I guess I’m pretty fucking huge, even though I really have nothing to compare it to, because I’ve _never had sex before_.’”

“You don’t watch porn?” Eddie asked, taking the time to pull off his own pants, underwear, and socks, tossing them all into the pile with Richie’s.

“This might be news to you,” Richie said, holding a hand out for Eddie, “but porn isn’t a fucking sex manual. Don’t they _purposely_ choose guys who are hung like horses?”

“No idea,” Eddie said, crawling across the bed to Richie and straddling his legs once again. “This is my first time having gay sex. It’s not like I have anything else to compare it to either. Except for mine. Which isn’t…”

“You’re fucking beautiful,” Richie said, leaning forward to kiss Eddie again. He laid his hands against Eddie’s chest, pressing his fingers up against the warm and smooth skin.

Bit by bit, Eddie slowly moved forward until his and Richie’s cocks were pressed up against each other. They both gasped loudly at the sensation, and then Eddie began thrusting his hips back and forth slowly, letting their erect cocks rub together. Then Eddie leaned forward even more, capturing their cocks in between his and Richie’s stomachs and kissing Richie deeply.

“Fuck,” Richie said, patting around on the mattress for the lube as he continued to kiss Eddie. He found it a moment later, then brought both of his hands around Eddie’s back. Richie opened the lube, squirting a generous amount on two of his fingers before tossing the tube down to the mattress again.

When Richie pressed his index finger against Eddie’s hole, Eddie let out a small breath, breaking the kiss with Richie. He leaned his head down, resting his forehead on Richie’s shoulder.

“You okay?” Richie asked tentatively, circling Eddie’s rim with the pad of his finger.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, shivering at the sensation. “Just…go slow.”

“I will,” Richie reassured him. “Let me know if you want me to stop at any time, okay? Because I will. I want this to be good for both of us.”

Eddie nodded his head against Richie’s shoulders, pressing a tender kiss into the skin there. “I will.”

It was Richie’s turn to dip his head forward, peppering kisses along Eddie’s neck as he pressed the very tip of his finger into Eddie.

This earned a small whine from Eddie, but he said, “Keep going.”

Richie pressed his finger in more, up to the first knuckle, and Eddie let out of a heavy breath against the skin of Richie’s shoulder.

“Oh, shit,” Eddie breathed. “That’s fucking good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” As if to prove his point, Eddie thrust his hips forward gently and then back, burying Richie’s finger just slightly more in his ass.

Richie slowly worked his index finger into Eddie bit by bit, and then he stopped, letting Eddie adjust to the intrusion. Meanwhile, Eddie was focusing on laying kisses all along Richie’s lips, alternating between pressing his tongue insistently into Richie’s mouth and thrusting a bit when he felt the need.

Finally, he said, “I’m ready for another one.”

Swallowing hard, Richie pressed his middle against his first and slid it forward until it touched that tight ring of muscle around Eddie’s hole. Slowly, Richie sunk this finger into Eddie as well, which caused Eddie to grip Richie’s shoulders tightly. But Eddie groaned as Richie went, so Richie dipped it in a bit farther.

“Holy shit,” Eddie said, as Richie continued to press his second finger in. Eddie thrust forward again, then back on Richie’s hand, forcing Richie’s fingers just a bit deeper. “You’re gonna have to try this.”

“That’s what your mom said too.”

“Shut the fuck up before I decide that I don’t want to fuck you anymore,” Eddie cried indignantly.

“You fucking love it,” Richie said, sucking against the side of Eddie’s neck.

A high-pitched whine escaped Eddie just then, and Richie immediately froze, thinking he’d hurt Eddie.

“Do…you want to stop?” Richie asked, looking up into Eddie’s face in concern.

Eddie shook his head firmly. “Fuck, no. Keep going. But…can you say shit like that some more?”

“Like what?” Richie asked, pressing his ring finger up against Eddie’s hole a moment later.

“’Bout how I fucking love it,” Eddie said, whining more. He thrust back against Richie’s fingers again, forcing them in deeper.

And holy shit, Richie had never prepared himself for this – Eddie Kaspbrak sitting on his lap, almost coming undone just from the simple fact that Richie was fingering him. Eddie kept making little whining noises as he slowly sunk down onto Richie’s fingers.

“You do love it,” Richie said, catching onto what Eddie wanted. He grinned up at Eddie, and he didn’t think he had ever seen anything more beautiful than aroused Eddie sitting on top of him. “Look at you. I’m only fingering you and already you don’t know what to do with yourself.”

“Oh god,” Eddie around a shuddering breath. “If you don’t fuck me already, I’m not going to make it much longer.”

“Mm, and you’re so tight around my fingers,” Richie said, “you’re going to feel fucking amazing around my cock.”

“Richie, _please_.”

Richie gently pulled his fingers out of Eddie and reached for the lube again. Richie squirted a large pool into his hand before he wrapped his fingers around his own cock. This drew a long, hard groan out of him, because he hadn’t quite realized exactly how hard he was until just then. He only gave his cock a few shorts strokes before he moved his hands to Eddie’s hips.

But Richie paused again, looking into Eddie’s eyes questioningly. “Are you absolutely positive?” Richie asked. “You can still tell me to stop and I will. No questions asked.”

Eddie smiled warmly. “I’m sure,” he said as let Richie guide his hips upward. “I want you, Richie,” Eddie said as Richie lined his cock up with Eddie’s hole with one hand. A moment later, Eddie slid down onto the head, which caused Eddie to throw his head back.

“Okay?” Richie asked again, because he’d never forgive himself if he did something to hurt Eddie.

“Yeah,” Eddie whispered as he leaned forward to kiss hungrily against Richie’s lips again. Then Eddie started sinking down bit by bit, letting Richie bury his cock fully inside of him.

“Oh, shit, fuck, _Eds_ ,” Richie said, not even quite sure what he was saying, because he had never felt anything like this before. Eddie’s tight warmth enveloped his cock, and it was everything he could do to not blow his load right off the bat.

Eddie stilled to let himself adjust to the intrusion for a while, and Richie was glad, because it gave him a while to try and get his throbbing cock under control. Richie squinted his eyes shut, momentarily thinking about Eddie’s failed time with Myra, and that was enough to kill Richie’s erection ever so slightly.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Richie said, taking some deep breaths and allowing his heart to slow. “Fuck, you’re tight, Eds.”

“Or you’re just fucking huge,” Eddie said against Richie’s ear before pushing himself up on his knees and thrusting back down onto Richie’s cock.

A strangled moan escaped from Richie, and he tightened his grip on Eddie’s hips. A moment later, however, Richie relinquished his hold on Eddie’s hips in favor of wrapping his arms around Eddie’s back. Eddie seemed to have the thrusting under control, and Richie wanted Eddie closer to him, so he pulled the other man against him. Their chests were brushing up against each other now as Richie captured Eddie’s lips again, kissing him deeply.

Richie started thrusting his hips up to meet Eddie’s, which caused Eddie to say, “Oh god. Talk to me some more, Rich.”

Richie gasped in a breath of air and it took his brain a moment to catch up to what Eddie was requesting, because having his cock buried in Eddie’s ass seemed to have that effect on him.

“Oh,” Richie said, curling his hands around Eddie’s shoulders. He used the leverage to press Eddie down onto his cock harder and harder, and then he said, “Yeah, you fucking like that, don’t you?”

 _ _A strangled moan escaped from Eddie as he continued to bounce on top of Richie’s cock. “Rich, _yes_. Oh my _god_.”

“Yeah,” Richie replied, throwing his head back against the headboard. He took a moment to stare up Eddie, because fuck. He never imagined that he’d see anything as exhilarating as Eddie on top of him like this. “Mm,” Richie hummed in pleasure, thrusting firmly up into Eddie. “Wish you could see yourself – riding my cock so well.”

Eddie gasped in a breath of air, his eyes suddenly opening wide. A surge of panic swept through Richie, afraid that he had done something to hurt Eddie this time, but then Eddie said, “Oh, shit. Do that again.”

“What?” Richie asked, bucking his hips up into Eddie just like he had a second before. “That?”

“ _Yes_ , oh my god, _Richie_.”

“Is that good?” Richie asked. He finally let his hands trail down to Eddie’s hips, gripping them tightly like he knew Eddie wanted. Forcing Eddie down onto his cock over and over again, Richie asked, “Good when I hit that spot inside you?”

Eddie didn’t have any words for that, only a whimpering groan as Richie slammed in and out of him.

“So fucking good,” Richie murmured, feeling his cock throbbing almost painfully inside Eddie. He was so fucking close, he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. “So fucking good on my cock.”

“Touch me, Richie,” Eddie whined, digging his fingernails into Richie’s back almost painfully. “Oh god, please touch me.”

Richie let go of Eddie’s hip with one hand, quickly wrapped his fingers around Eddie’s own throbbing erection. Precum had been dribbling out of the tip, quickly coating the edges of Richie’s fingers as he continued to run them over the length of Eddie’s cock.

“Can…can I cum inside you?” Richie found himself gasping out, because goddamn, he was about to burst, and he didn’t want to do it anywhere else but in Eddie’s tight heat. But if Eddie told him no, then he would do as he was asked, because Eddie was the most important person in the world to him.

“God, fuck, yeah, cum inside me, Rich,” Eddie moaned. His head had tilted backwards again, his eyes closed, and his mouth open ever so slightly in an expression of pure ecstasy. His skin shimmered with sweat in the moonlight, and Richie didn’t think he had ever seen anymore more beautiful – Eddie looking fucked out of his mind on Richie’s cock.

Eddie’s hands were still on Richie’s shoulders as he kept thrusting up into Richie’s hand and then back down onto Richie’s cock.

“Want me to fill you up, don’t you?” Richie asked, as he kept running his hand over the length of Eddie’s cock. His other hand was still on Eddie’s hip, forcing him to take Richie hard and deep over and over again.

“Yeah, fill me with your cum,” Eddie panted, his voice sounding rougher than it had, and Richie knew he was close. “God, come on, Rich.”

“Can you cum on my cock for me, baby?” Richie asked, releasing his hold on Eddie’s cock and returning his hand to Eddie’s hip. “Cum on my cock, and I’ll give you what you want. I’ll give it to you so good.”

Eddie growled deep in his throat and this caused Richie to dig his fingers so tightly into the other man’s hips, there might be bruises there in the morning. Richie almost expected Eddie to cry out in pain, but he didn’t. He only dug his own fingers into Richie’s shoulders in return, letting Richie pump him up and down on his cock.

It only took a few more thrusts before Eddie threw his head back even further and screamed, “ _Richie_!”

Eddie’s cum spurted out, coating his and Richie’s stomachs and chest. Eddie’s hole clenched tightly around him, and it was what Richie needed to finally push him over the edge. He thrust up again, his eyes glued to the expression of pure pleasure on Eddie’s face, and Richie came deep inside Eddie, coating his insides.

“ _Eddie_ ,” Richie moaned, returning his hands to Eddie’s back and pulling him tightly to him. He buried his head into Eddie’s chest as he continued to thrust up into Eddie, riding out both of their orgasms.

“Oh my god, Rich,” Eddie said, collapsing into a heap against Richie.

“Hm?” Richie hummed as he stroked his hands up and down Eddie’s back. “Was it good?”

“Holy shit,” Eddie replied, then he laughed, pressing a few kisses into the side of Richie’s neck. “Turns out you were right. Neither of us really knew what we were doing, but it does make a difference when we’re both hot for each other, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” Richie said, lazily kissing along Eddie’s jawllne. “I just know you were amazing.”

Without warning, Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck, hugging him tightly. Richie hugged Eddie back, his hands still trailing up and down Eddie’s back.

“Are you okay?” Richie asked.

“God, _yeah_ ,” Eddie murmured against Richie’s neck. “Just…do you realize a little over an hour ago, I was fighting with myself about whether I should come talk to you or not, and now…”

“We had sex?”

Eddie giggled as he pulled away from Richie a bit and kissed him again. “Yeah.”

“Eds?” Richie asked in between kisses.

“Hm?”

“Say it again.”

Richie could feel Eddie smiling against his lips as he said, “I love you, Richie.”

“I love you,” Richie replied, tightening his grip around Eddie, hoping that it would make Eddie realize just how very much Richie loved him in return.

_The end_

**Author's Note:**

> _Author’s note: I am @SpoonyLupin on Twitter and Tumblr. Come follow me and say hi!_


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